The Sex Shed 2026 customer satisfaction survey
108 of you told us what you think.
We read every word.
We opened the shed doors last December and asked how we're doing. You were generous, funny, specific, and occasionally brutal. Here's what you said, what surprised us, what made us laugh, and two small games to test how well you know your fellow shed people.
9.1 / 10your overall rating of The Sex Shed
73%would recommend us to someone they trust
21of you gave us a straight ten on every single question. We love you, and we suspect you of being our mums.
Guess who shops here
Tap your answer. No prizes, just the smug feeling of being right.
What share of our customers shop with a partner?
Two thirds. 71 of 108 shop for themselves and a partner. Another 25 shop for themselves only, and 6 were, in their own words, “just browsing.”
How many of our customers own twenty or more toys?
1 in 6. Seventeen people own twenty-plus, and nineteen more own between eleven and twenty. Meanwhile 23 of you own two or fewer and 28 were buying their very first. Everyone's welcome in the shed.
What did people say they like most about us?
The products, by four votes. 42 said the selection, 38 said the guide articles. For a shop, that's a suspiciously close race. One of you called us “more like a library than a shop.” We'll take it.
Where did most of you find us?
Google, 37 of you. Reddit was second with 25, and here's the fun part: two in three people who found us on Reddit were buying their first toy. Reddit, you're a gateway. Thank you.
Who's in here, roughly
A quick census of the people who answered. If you don't see yourself, you're the interesting one.
How old
Four of you are 65 or over. Your average rating for us: 9.25. Legends.
How experienced
One person picked “not really into it, only when needed.” We respect the honesty and we'd love to know what you needed.
How often you visit sites like ours
Six of you visit sites like this every day. We see you. We're flattered. Drink some water.
How many toys, how often
The average shed customer owns six to ten toys and buys a few times a year. If you own fewer, you’re early. If you own more, there’s a quiz for you further down.
Toys at home right now
Between them, the 17 people in the top bracket own at least 340 toys. Probably closer to a thousand. We didn’t ask where they keep them.
How often you buy something
Seven of you buy several times a month. We’d love to see the drawer. We’d also love to see the shipping bill.
What you came in for
We asked what problem you were trying to solve. Most of you weren't solving one. You were just curious, which is our favourite kind of customer.
What brings you back to a place like this
Inspiration beats bargains two to one. You're not here for a sale. You're here for an idea. (There is also a rewards programme. We're not above it.)
How you found us
Mostly by looking for us, which is the nicest way to be found.
How we scored, out of ten
Nine questions, 108 markers. We're framing all of them, but some are going in the downstairs loo.
How you'd describe us to a friend
We asked you to describe The Sex Shed in your own words. Grouped loosely, this is what came back. Fifteen of you said “it's a sex toy shop.” Correct.
Variety, a one-stop shop29
Educational, informative25
Fun, exciting, a bit wild25
Trustworthy, safe, clean, discreet11
Inspiring, full of ideas10
Personal, small, real8
Good value8
Quality, body-safe7
Easy to use4
And the exact words you reached for most often, across every answer:
educational13personal12education12information10selection10variety9easy7informative7interesting6inspiration5quality5clean4helpful4awesome4trustworthy3useful3
Things you actually said
Anonymous, unedited except for the odd typo. Some of these are going on a mug.
Did the shed feel like yours?
We asked whether anything made you feel included. 58 of you gave “inclusive and welcoming” a perfect ten, which is the score we're proudest of. Here's what you noticed.
Just a very inclusive vibe, clear and no judgement.
25–34I like the illustrations being for all bodies.
35–44The information for differently abled folks.
35–44The straightforward, unembarrassed approach to men's toys, with measurements for different sizes.
35–44LGBT categories, and down to earth product descriptions.
25–34It's a bit like an Aladdin's cave of sex and kink!
35–44One of you also said we “seem to respect the intelligence of the audience.” We're going to try very hard to keep that one.
Two truths and a lie
Every round, two of these are true and one is made up. Tap the one you think is the lie; it turns red when you find it.
Round one
Eight people aged 18 to 24 answered. The other two are true. Yes, Sezzle. We don’t know how either, but welcome.
Round two
Reddit sent 25 of you; Instagram sent 11. The four over-65s are real and averaged 9.25 out of 10. The 21 straight-tens are real and, we assume, related to us.
Round three
The word you used most was “educational.” Thirteen times. “Cheap” appeared twice in the whole survey. The three “Yes” answers and the ten-second test are true; the lowest anyone scored us on clarity was a 5.
Round four
Only 24 of you came looking for a bargain. 41 came for inspiration or curiosity. The 7,342 words are real (about 25 pages), and so, we regret to confirm, is the wife.
From the couples, and from the first-timers
Two thirds of you shop with someone; one in five was buying a first toy. Here’s what each camp told us it was up to.
Couple goals
My husband and I typically tend to buy new toys when we have a birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s trip coming up.
Something for closeness while being in different places.
I was trying to find a fun gift for my husband.
Trying new things with my wife.
Just wanted some new toys for my partner and I.
First-timer diaries
I need toys so bad. I wanted to get my first dildo and some lube.
Random Reddit poster had a good experience, thought it would be a good place to start.
Wanted to try something, y’all had a decent price.
It feels exciting, like I’m being seduced or drawn in to go deeper, but cautiously because it’s new. Lol, how funny.
I’m excited for my first purchase and look forward to this new experience.
Which kind of shed shopper are you?
Five quick taps. We'll tell you which of our six customer types you match, what your people told us, and where to start.
Numbers we didn’t need but enjoyed
7,342words you wrote us, across 1,311 answers. About 25 pages. We printed none of them and read all of them.
51exclamation marks. Fifteen “love”s. Four “lol”s. Two puns, both disclaimed.
252times someone answered “No.” Mostly to “was anything confusing?” We’re choosing to feel good about that.
0people who scored us below 5 on “did you get what we’re about in ten seconds.” The shed is, apparently, self-explanatory.
13of you mentioned a husband, wife or partner by name while explaining what you were shopping for. Hello to all of them.
1person who described the visit as “more like an interactive experience.” They’d found the scavenger hunt. So have you, if you scroll far enough.
Awards nobody asked for
Handed out on the basis of 108 questionnaires and no ceremony whatsoever.
- Happiest customersSolo shoppers. Almost every one of you who shops for yourself would recommend us. We’re not reading anything into that.
- Most generous markersPeople who found us on Reddit. Two thirds of you were buying your first toy and you still gave us the kindest scores of any group.
- Most devoted visitorsCollectors. Eleven of you told us you visit several times a week. Some of you own more toys than we have in stock.
- Wordiest answer405 characters on what we should stock next, from a collector with strong views on dual-density silicone. We read it twice.
- Most common answer“No.” 252 times, to “was anything confusing?” and “was anything unnecessary?” We’ll take that as the compliment it probably is.
- Most exclamation marks51, across everyone. Fifteen of you used the word “love.” Four of you wrote “lol.” Two made a pun and pointed it out.
- Most relatable answer“If I had more money.” Six of you, unprompted, to “what would make you return more often?” One of you added “I have an item in the cart but haven’t purchased yet.” Same.
- Most cryptic respondentOne of you answered seven questions with single letters: H, H, U, L, U, K, M. If it’s a code, we haven’t cracked it. If it’s a cat, hello cat.
- Best pun, disclaimed“Keep your head up while helping keep others’ heads up, no pun intended.” Also “their marketing team is just a vibe (no pun).” We noticed both puns. We intended neither.
- Best origin story“My Dom/husband showed it to me.” Hello to him. Honourable mentions: one of you found us through Sezzle, one through Bluesky, and one because we were “the first non-Amazon site I found.”
- Most honest answerTo “what would make you return more often?”: “A hornier wife.” We can’t help with that directly, but the position generator has been known to.
- Best description we didn’t write“A sex positive blog with a store on the side.” Followed closely by “an Aladdin’s cave of sex and kink.”
Missed the survey?
It's still open, it's anonymous, and a human reads every answer. Sometimes two humans. And if you've read this far, you deserve some points.
108 responses collected between December 2025 and September 2026 through an anonymous form. Percentages are of everyone who answered. Quotes are reproduced anonymously with light spelling fixes. Thank you to all 108 of you, especially the 21 who gave us straight tens and the 7 who didn't. You were more useful.
