You asked:
I've experimented with household items (banana & cucumber) but never a dildo. What would you recommend for a total beginner, and can one dildo be used for both vaginal and anal play, or should I buy different ones?
Grace:
For your first dildo, I highly recommend choosing one made of silicone-it's the most affordable body-safe material, making it ideal for beginners.
Avoid purchasing from general marketplaces like Amazon where you might encounter counterfeit materials, and instead, buy from a trusted retailer like The Sex Shed to ensure authenticity.
For vaginal use: one of the simple, small dildos from brands like DilDolls.
If you're also considering anal play, you might want to opt for something smaller and smoother, like the Tantus Silk S, which is less textured and easier to manage.
You can certainly use the same dildo for both vaginal and anal play, but not simultaneously.
Make sure to sterilize the toy between uses to maintain hygiene and safety.
Silicone is particularly advantageous for this reason.
Also, learn How to use a dildo for the first time.
Frequently asked questions about choosing and using dildos
What’s the best first dildo for a total beginner?
Go simple: choose a small-to-medium, smooth 100% silicone dildo with a tapered tip for gentle, predictable insertion. Aim for roughly 5–6 inches long and a slim diameter (about 1.1"–1.5" / ~28–38 mm) to start. Silicone is non‑porous, body‑safe, easy to clean and durable. Good starter picks include small dildos from trusted brands like DilDolls or a smooth Tantus Silk if you want an extra-smooth option.
Can I use the same dildo for both vaginal and anal play?
Yes - but not at the same time. Always clean the toy thoroughly before switching or sharing. For anal play, choose toys with a flared base or a handle so nothing can be lost. If you switch between orifices often, covering the toy with a fresh condom each time is a quick, hygienic option.
What material should I pick and what should I avoid?
Pick 100% medical‑grade or body‑safe silicone (non‑porous and hypoallergenic). Avoid cheap, porous materials or unknown “mystery” plastics that trap bacteria and are difficult to sanitize. Note: silicone toys pair best with water‑based lubricants - silicone lubes can degrade silicone toys.
How do I clean and sterilize my dildo safely?
For routine cleaning use warm water and mild soap or a dedicated toy cleaner before and after use. For deep cleaning, if the manufacturer confirms the toy is 100% non‑porous silicone, you can boil it for a few minutes or use a 10% bleach solution following brand instructions. When in doubt, follow the maker’s care recommendations. Store clean, dry toys in a cloth bag or separate compartment to keep them dust‑free and away from other materials.
What lube should I use and how much?
Use a high-quality water‑based lubricant for most dildos and especially for silicone toys. For anal play choose a thicker, longer‑lasting water‑based or hybrid lube and use plenty - go slow and reapply as needed. Avoid oil-based lubes with latex condoms and avoid silicone lubes on silicone toys.
Any quick safety do’s and don’ts for beginners?
Do start small, relax, breathe, go slow, use plenty of lube, and listen to your body. Buy from reputable retailers to reduce the risk of counterfeit or unsafe materials. Don’t use household items (e.g., food) as toys - they aren’t body‑safe. Don’t insert toys without a flared base for anal play, and don’t share toys between partners or orifices without cleaning or using a fresh condom. Bonus tip: check return and warranty policies in case a toy doesn’t feel right for you.