How to use a dildo for the first time?

Rumour has it the ancient Greeks pleasured themselves with baked bread sticks, lubricated with olive oil. I think we all agree that bread and oil should stay on the dining table and we should stick to sex toys for masturbation. My toy box is full of goodies, and my favorite is my tried and tested dildo. 

If you’ve never used a dildo before you need to give it a go – you’re spoiled for choice when it comes to the huge array of designs, shapes, and sizes available.

You’ll find everything from skin-tone realistic dildos that resemble real-life cocks to lurid-colored non-realistic dildos and to suction cup dildos that stick to the wall.

Other designs include curved G-spot dildos, double dildos, vibrating dildos and strap-on dildos you can attach to a harness before screwing your lover. 

Whether you’re drawn to the smoothness of silicone dildos, curious about the cool firmness of glass dildos, intrigued by the weighty feel of metal dildos, or eager to experience the lifelike texture of dual density dildos, there’s a perfect option to explore as you begin your first dildo experience.

Creative ways to use a dildo for the first time

Using the dildo alone

Anyone can use a dildo, no matter their gender or orientation. Indulge in self-love or grab your lover for dildo-a-deux fun.

Whether engaging in solo or partner fun you can kick things off with foreplay.

Touching yourself and each other will arouse and excite - use fingers, hands, and mouths to start the party.  

Dildos are typically associated with thrusting, and as a solo player, you can take great delight in plunging the toy in and out of your pussy or ass.

However, there are other options. You could insert your dildo and relish the feeling of being full, or use your muscles to clench and release the dildo. 

I sometimes use my dildo to tease my clit.

Rubbing it over the sensitive love bud turns me on, and as I stroke my nipples, I find myself becoming more and more turned on.

I also combine using my dildo with wand vibrators or bullet vibrators to tease my clit. Doubling the fun often results in a knee-trembling climax. 

When you’re playing with yourself, where you play is as important as how you play.

I like to lounge on my bed and tease myself with a dildo, or take it easy on the couch. Position wise you’ll need to find the best way to fuck yourself, be it pushing your dildo in and out, squatting on it, etc. 

I find suction cup dildos to be useful when easing myself onto a toy. You can stick your dildo to the floor or wall and get busy on it too. This is a great way to control the depth and intensity of thrusts. If I fancy a change, I’ll take my dildo into the bathroom and attach it to the toilet seat or shower wall.

Read Suction cup dildo positions and techniques & How to ride a dildo like there is no tomorrow.

Using a dildo with a partner

Using a dildo with my lover is great fun too. We try out all sorts of positions using the toy, including missionary and doggy.

He sometimes uses the dildo as a warm-up before fucking me with his real cock, but if he takes it too far, I’ll cum.

Then he has to wait a minute or two while I compose myself before he gets to penetrate me with his own dick!

Being a versatile toy, I can turn the tables and use the dildo on my partner too.

I can manually use the toy to thrust in and out of his ass, but I prefer wearing a strap-on harness and using non-vibrating strap-on dildos.

If you’re new to giving, and your partner is new to receiving, keep things simple. I find doggy or my partner lying on the edge of the bed works best. I can stand by the bed and direct my dildo into the right spot (using my hands to guide it in). 

Once you’ve got the hang of using a dildo you can incorporate other activities.

Other activities you can try

Enhance the experience by using bondage blindfolds on your partner, then add sensory stimulation by rubbing the dildo across their skin and gently tapping it against their naked body.

Restraints (like handcuffs) can add spice too, gently tying your partner’s hands and wrist to the bed posts before penetrating with a dildo can prove stimulating.

Don’t forget to negotiate the scene fully by outlining expectations, setting boundaries, and identifying safe words/signals before you play – consent is key. 

Top tips for using a dildo for the first time

Choose wisely when you’re on the hunt for your new dildo (especially if you’re a newbie). Don’t be tempted to go super-size, instead start with something slender and on the small side (explore small dildos).

If you’re looking to indulge in back-door action, make sure your chosen dildo has a flared base (explore anal dildos). The last thing you want is a trip to the Emergency Room with a sex toy stuck in your rear. 

When I’m shopping for a dildo, I look for dildos made from non-porous materials such as glass dildos, metal dildos, and silicone dildos.

Read Sex toy materials from A to Z.

I avoid dildos made from porous materials as they can harbor germs and grime. If you do buy a dildo made from a porous material pop a condom on it before you use it.

Some people routinely put condoms on their dildos, which is a good call, especially if your sex toy is being used by more than one person (sharing bodily fluids can lead to STIs).

If you’re using your dildo for pussy and bum penetration, you’ll need to use a fresh condom if you move from one hole to another. This will combat the chance of picking up an infection. 

Whether you’re playing solo or with your partner you’ll need to lube up.

Lubricant aids penetration and can make the experience more pleasurable. If you’re playing with a silicone dildo don’t use silicone sex lubricants, and if you’re putting a condom on your toy steer clear of oil-based sex lubricants. 

Best choice: water-based sex lubricants.

Once you’re done playing you must clean your toy thoroughly. Bacteria can build up and a dirty sex toy can lead to nasty infections.

Keeping your toy fresh and clean will also help keep it in tip-top condition to help it stand the test of time.

You should also wash your dildo before you use it for the first time, although it’s fresh from the wrapper you need to clean it before playing with it. 

Wash your dildo with warm water and liquid soap, or invest in a specialist toy cleaner. Start at the base and work your way to the tip, twisting your hand around the shaft (good practice for wanking a cock too)!

Rinse the dildo and then dry it with a lint-free cloth before packing it away for another play day. 

Read How do I clean and maintain my sex toys?

Ready for dildo action?

Then grab yourself a new toy, find a quiet spot (alone or with your lover), and look forward to a shuddering climax. 

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