The average penis ranges from 4 inches to 7 inches when erect. Most sex positions are designed to work for people with penises in this range.
However, if you have a smaller-than-average penis some positions will provide deeper penetration options for you and your partner(s).
Most people with penises worry much more about their size than is warranted by the realities of sex. If you are on the smaller size (under 4.5 inches erect), there are many ways you can provide pleasure to your partner(s).
In fact, most of the nerve endings in a vagina are concentrated in the first inch or so. The vulva usually adds another inch or so of sensitive area for stimulation. If you have three inches to work with, you are set to stimulate the most sensitive areas!
The anus is also highly enervated. Most people do not want more than a few inches of penetration anally.
So, while you may be fretting about your size you are already well-equipped to hit all the good spots for partners!
Once you pass the first inch or so of the vagina, the sensations are more about pressure or fullness. Many people with a cervix find that hammering away at it with thrusting is very uncomfortable, even painful.
The G-Spot is located about three inches into the vagina and up toward the belly button. Shorter penises are better at stimulating the G-Spot in most instances.
People with small penises are set for great anal sex! The anus and rectum have multiple sphincters. Sphincters are rings of muscle which relax and open to let things pass through them. They tighten and close to keep things from passing. The anal sphincter is the one most of us are aware of. This is the “butthole.”
For anal penetration to happen, this sphincter must relax a bit to allow a finger (or anything bigger) to pass through it. About 5-6 inches inside the anus is a second sphincter.
For people with bigger penises, this second sphincter is often a stopping point unless their partner has trained to get it to relax. People with shorter penises do not have to worry about pushing up against this sphincter or waiting for it to relax to have pleasurable anal sex.
IMPORTANT: If you plan to have anal sex, make sure you use a sex lubricant! The anus is not a self-lubricating body part. You will always want to use lube with anal sex.
Penetrative sex
Doggy style
Doggy style is the go-to for everybody. This is a very effective position for bigger bodies, smaller penises, people with various mobility limitations, and older folks. It’s the reason it is the favorite position of millions of people!
For people with smaller penises, doggy style is helpful because it raises your partner’s genitals and anus up in the air and makes them easy to reach!
In this position, if the person with the small penis is behind their partner, the anus is fully exposed and easy to penetrate.
Additionally, if your partner has a vagina, their hips are tilted in such a way to make the entry length shorter. This means your penis will feel bigger inside of them.
In doggy style, the testicles of the penetrating partner are free to flap about. As people age, their testicles slowly become elongated due to gravity and reduced skin tightness.
As the testicles become longer, they swing back and forth during thrusting. For receptive partners with clits, the testicles will bump and jostle the clit, stimulating it. If the person on the bottom uses their fingers to gently open their labia during doggy style, the additional stimulation from the swinging testicles can help them reach climax.
To get testicles to hang lower, some men opt for the cosmetic surgery nicknamed “Scro-tox.”
In this procedure, botulism toxin (Botox) is injected into the scrotum causing it to lengthen and swing more during sex. Like all Botox injections, scro-tox comes with its own dangers, including the toxins expanding from the area injected causing numbness and possible erectile dysfunction until the toxins wear off in two to three months.
The seashell
The seashell position is when the partner being penetrated is on the bottom, lying on their back, with their legs raised toward their ears.
If your partner is not flexible enough to put their feet behind their head, they can pull their legs back to a comfortable position.
You, as the penetrating partner, enter them from the top missionary position.
This position for people with a vagina, makes the opening very accessible and shortens the vaginal canal. As the penetrating partner you will get very deep penetration.
This position offers additional benefits. The receptive partner has their clitoris or penis facing the insertive partner.
This is a great chance for you or a partner to stimulate the penis or clitoris while being penetrated, enhancing overall pleasure.
Reverse pile driver
In this position, the receptive partner lies on their stomach.
The penetrating partner starts in a plank position between their partner’s legs. In this position either the vagina or anus can be penetrated with deep, thrusting actions.
If your partner has a larger bottom, having them hold open their cheeks in this position will allow you easier access to their genitals and anus.
It can also feel very sexy to tell a partner to “spread them cheeks!” (It’s also sexy to hear.)
Seated face-to-face
This is a very intimate position, allowing for lots of eye contact and skin-to-skin contact.
The person with the small penis sits on a bed or chair. The receptive partner straddles them and kneels on the bed or chair.
This position leaves the receptive partner in more control of the pace and depth of penetration.
This position is great if you enjoy kissing, necking, and whispering into your partner’s ear. It can feel very intimate.
For partners wanting to increase feelings of connection and intimacy, this position is top choice!
Take a seat
In this position, the penetrating partner sits on a bed or chair. The receptive partner sits on their lap facing away from them.
This position works for both vaginal and anal sex.
In this position, the partner on the lap can control the speed and depth of penetration as well as grind on their partner’s penis.
The partner on the bottom can reach around their partner’s waist to provide clitoral or penis stimulation as well.
Non-penetrative options
Don’t forget that sex is much more than penetration involving a penis! Sex includes other forms of touching and stimulation.
Most people have a difficult time climaxing with only penile penetration. More than 85 percent of people with clitoris do not climax from penetration alone.
Anal sex is often not enough to help the receptive partner reach climax. They may require other forms of stimulation as well.
69
This oft referred-to position involves partners being face to face with each other’s genitals.
Both partners engage in oral sex at the same time. In this position, it does not matter which partner lies on their back.
This position provides an easy way to enjoy oral sex for both of you!
If the person on top has a penis, be sure to check in to make sure your partner is breathing comfortably.
In this position, your penis may fill up their mouth and throat or your balls can cover their nose making it hard to breathe.
The sideways 69
This is the 69 position with both partners lying on their side.
It is an easier-to-sustain position than the traditional 69 because neither partner has to support their weight in the air.
There is no partner on the bottom, making breathing for both people easier.
There are variations on this position which make it easier for both partners.
Having each partner bend their top leg, placing a foot on the bed or your side can open up access to the penis and vulva areas.
Alternatively, you can both wrap your top leg around your partner’s waist and pull them closer.
Lie back and relax
If you are the receptive partner, you lie on your back and enjoy your partner going to town on your bits!
If you are the person giving oral sex, you lie on your stomach between your partner’s legs and perform your favorite version of oral sex.
Add a toy!
Adding sex toys to your play can be another way to enhance pleasure for you and partners.
Cock ring with clit stimulator
Adding a vibrating cock ring, like the VEDO Frisky Bunny cock ring is a great way to enhance sex for both you and your partner. Cock rings like this will provide additional stimulation to a partner’s clitoris while having sex.
For most people with clitoris, they need clitoris stimulation as well as penetration to climax.
Cock rings like this one are great for the seated face-to-face and cowgirl positions. The receptive partner can grind up against the vibrating part of the ring providing intense clitoral stimulation while simultaneously enjoying penetration.
Wearable vaginal toys
If your partner desires greater pressure or fullness during sex, adding wearable vibrators such as the We-Vibe Jive is a fantastic idea.
The We-Vibe line is controlled by an app.
The insertable part will stimulate a partner’s G-spot and provide an increased feeling of fullness during penetration.
Additionally, you will feel the vibrations along your penile shaft and head, increasing your pleasure as well.
Try a cock cage
If you have not tried chastity play, it can add an exciting element to your sex life.
Chastity play involves being locked in a chastity device - check the chastity cage selection here.
A partner holds the key and decides when you are allowed to be unlocked and get an erection. Negotiating control over your erections and orgasms is thrilling for some people.
Being a person holding onto a key and deciding when you want to let your partner finally get an erection can also be an exciting form of power!
Chastity play comes with safety concerns and hygiene knowledge.
About the author
Rebecca Blanton, aka Auntie Vice, is a writer and kink educator. She holds a Ph.D. (abd) in Political Psychology and a BA in Psychology.
Their work focuses on gender, power, and kink//BDSM. She runs the award-winning blog LoveLettersToAUnicorn.com and has published several books, including The Big Workbook for Submissives, a finalist for the 2018 Golden Flogger Award. She has taught about kink and submission for the past seven years.
She regularly performs stand-up and storytelling. Prior to turning her attention to kink education and writing, she served as the Executive Director for the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls and worked as a Senior Policy Analyst for the California Research Bureau.