Butt plugs are popular toys for all genders! This is not surprising since the bum is filled with nerve endings which can provide pleasure.
Using a remote-controlled or app-based toy is a wonderful way to engage in sex play. To make sure you have a safe, enjoyable time using your toy you need to keep the following in mind.
Choosing the right butt plug
Finding a comfortable butt plug to wear for an outing is critical. You want to find one you can wear comfortably. Second, consider how the toy fits in your bum when you move and how much the base sticks out when you sit.
Sizing it right
Make sure the toy is really designed to go into your bum! A correctly designed butt plug will have a base significantly wider than the widest insertable part. A wide base will prevent you from sucking the entire toy into your rectum.
Consider purchasing an anal trainer kit. They come with several butt plugs of different sizes. You can practice and increase the size which is comfortable for you to use.
Finally, look for a base on the toy which will allow you to sit comfortably. The base should fit between your butt cheeks and not stick out beyond your natural padding.
These toys proved to be a great choice for public play:
Preparation
Douche
Anal douching cleans out the first eight to ten inches of the rectum with warm (not hot!) water. Using an anal douche will make this process easy. Rinse your bum until the water runs clear.
USE LUBE!
There is no such thing as βtoo much lubeβ when it comes to anal play. Using a lube shooter is helpful in getting the good stuff into all the right places. Lubricate any toy you are putting in your butt.
Practice at home
Practice wearing your toy at home and work up the amount of time you can wear it comfortably. Make sure to walk and sit.
Experiment with settings
Try the different vibrating options at home. Pay attention to how your body responds.
Public Consent
When doing any form of public play, you want to make sure the people around you either have consented to be involved in your play or be discrete. If you are in a space designed for public play (e.g., dungeon), people have consented. If you are in public (e.g., bar) people have not consented.
In the case where you are in public, you will want to take the following precautions to prevent violating peopleβs consent.
Wear discrete clothing
Do not talk about wearing a toy at a volume or location others could overhear.
Treat your device like a secret.
Use a bathroom to adjust or remove the toy.
If you must adjust or remove your toy while out in public, use a stall in a restroom to do so discreetly. Carry a zip lock baggie large enough to fit the toy into when you go out to play.
Pay attention to your surroundings.
Pay attention to the people around you when engaging in public play. It is easy to get caught up in the delight of the sensations with your toy and accidentally draw nonconsenting strangers into your play.
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About the author
Rebecca Blanton, aka Auntie Vice, is a writer and kink educator. She holds a Ph.D. (abd) in Political Psychology and a BA in Psychology. Their work focuses on gender, power, and kink//BDSM.
She runs the award-winning blog LoveLettersToAUnicorn.com and has published several books, including The Big Workbook for Submissives, a finalist for the 2018 Golden Flogger Award.
She has taught about kink and submission for the past seven years. She regularly performs stand-up and storytelling. Prior to turning her attention to kink education and writing, she served as the Executive Director for the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls and worked as a Senior Policy Analyst for the California Research Bureau.
Frequently asked questions about wearing a butt plug in public
How do I pick the right remote-controlled butt plug for public wear?
Choose an anal-specific plug with a sturdy flared base that sits comfortably between your cheeks so it wonβt slip in or poke out. Start with a smaller size or an anal trainer kit to find what you can wear while walking and sitting. Look for a slim profile and low-noise motors-quiet models like the WeβVibe Ditto or OhMiBod Lumen are commonly recommended. If itβs app-controlled, stick with reputable brands, read reviews, and test connectivity at home before taking it out.
How should I prepare my body and the toy before heading out?
If it helps your peace of mind, you can douche with warm water until it runs clear. Use plenty of lube-silicone or a dedicated anal lube is best-and consider an applicator or lube shooter to coat the toy and area. Practice wearing the plug at home for increasing amounts of time, walk and sit, and try different vibration settings so you know what to expect in public.
How can I keep the sensations discreet and avoid drawing attention?
Dress to hide the base: thicker fabrics, high waistbands, looser silhouettes, or layering help. Sit and stand in ways that minimize movement of the toy (shift your weight, avoid low chairs). Use lower vibration levels or pulsed patterns that feel strong internally but are less likely to be noticed externally. Treat it like a secret-donβt announce it, avoid narrating sensations in public, and donβt visibly fiddle with your phone or the controls.
What about consent and legality when playing in public?
Never involve non-consenting people; consent is essential. Spaces designed for kink (private play parties, dungeons, or booked private rooms) are appropriate; public bars, sidewalks, and other shared spaces are not. Keep language and behavior private and avoid exposing others to your play visually, audibly, or through contact. When in doubt, choose a private bathroom, your car, or a booked private space instead of public venues.
What if the remote or app stops working while Iβm out?
Bring backups: a spare remote (if the toy has one), a charged phone, and/or a portable charger. Know your toyβs manual override or on-device power button and how to turn it off quickly. If you canβt stop it immediately, head to a restroom stall, sit down, and remove it calmly into a ziplock or small storage pouch. For app-controlled toys, keep firmware updated and prefer physical remotes if you worry about connectivity.
How long can I safely wear a butt plug, and how do I remove it without drama?
Work up to longer wear times at home; many people wear plugs for hours safely, but comfort varies-always listen to your body. If you experience strong pain, numbness, cramps, or bleeding, remove the toy immediately. To remove discreetly, go to a stall, relax and breathe, use extra lube if needed, and pull gently with steady pressure; place the toy in a ziplock and clean it when you get home. Pro tip: carry a small wipe and a bag so you can freshen up after removal.