I’m sure I’ve mentioned how turned on I get when my partner kindly eats my pussy. He’s honed his skills over the years, and it’s only fair I return the favor.
That’s why I’ve made it my business to learn how to suck dick, and to make sure my guy always gets a good blow job.
So, how do I make sure I put a smile on his face and a spring in his step? The first rule of oral is simple: don’t be afraid to talk about oral!
Going down on your man is a great way to build intimacy and provide oodles of pleasure. Don’t hold back in asking him what makes him tick – maybe he likes light tickling licks to his bellend, or perhaps he’s a fan of you sucking his balls. You won’t know if you don’t ask.
As with all forms of sexual play, two-way communication is essential. This is a chance for you to air your thoughts on oral, too.
Perhaps you’re worried about going too deep and gagging, or maybe you’re concerned he’ll shoot his load in your mouth when you would prefer to spit rather than swallow.
Take your time and treasure the pleasure
Don’t jump on his cock and start gobbling it down for all your worth. If you’re overly enthusiastic, you could cause discomfort, and if you rush, neither of you will get much from the experience.
Instead, start slowly and build up, planting soft kisses along his naked body, moving up and down the torso and thighs before edging closer to his groin.
Lick around the balls and shaft, varying the pace and intensity of kisses and licks as you work your way around.
You can inch your way toward the head to build up pressure and build sexual tension. I always encourage my lover to provide feedback, be it verbal or non-verbal, to help me deliver a great blow job.
Read: How To Suck Dick: 5 Oral Sex Tips For Beginners
My guy will often moan and groan with pleasure to indicate I’m hitting the right notes, and he’ll often guide my head by gently pulling my hair or tilting my chin. I love looking up at him while he does this, as I know he gets turned on by watching me take his hard shaft between my lips.
Head-to-head
Once I’ve got the party started by using my hands to stroke his groin while my tongue and lips work on his shaft, I move along to the head.
The head (glans) is often the most sensitive part, so I don’t go in too hard or too heavy.
I usually use circular motions or soft sucking to stimulate the bell end. It’s important to take care when doing this – you don’t want to be too rough or start using your teeth. The lips and tongue should be able to do a good enough job, so no need to involve the gnashers.
Hands and mouth together
Oral doesn’t have to be exclusively about the mouth; you can use your hands too for added pleasure.
Read: 24 Handjob Techniques (VIDEO): Learn How To Give A Handjob
Place your hand around the shaft and gently tug while you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. You can pull up and down as you lick and suck to give him a hand-job/blow-job combo guaranteed to push his buttons.
You can also twist your hand for added stimulation. Place your hand around his member and gently twist left and right to tease and torment.
You’ll need to explore rhythm and consistency to find the right technique, but that’s part of the fun. Vary the speed and pressure, moving from fast to slow and gentle to more intense, to see what works for your guy.
Go deep
Deepthroating can be intense, so it’s not for everyone. That said, with patience and practice you can work your way up to being a deepthroat expert.
You’ll need to practice your deep throat technique by learning to relax your throat and control your breathing. This isn’t easy, and I would suggest finding a good online video or tutorial to give you some guidance on how to get to grips with taking the shaft right into your mouth.
Learning to control your gag reflex will provide a more enjoyable deep throat experience, and your guy will be eternally grateful for your efforts.
Don’t be afraid to be playful
Sex doesn’t have to be serious; you can incorporate playful techniques to add a fun element to oral.
Use your tongue to swirl patterns along his shaft or around his head. Trace the veins with your tongue and pause to gently lick the tip of his penis several times.
Spitting isn’t for everyone, but I enjoy doing it. I spit on his stiff cock and watch as the spittle slides down from tip to base. There’s something dirty about the action, and my guy gets massively turned on by it. I find a wetter cock easier to handle and my tongue tends to slide up and down with abandon, which adds to the naughty fun.
I’ll sometimes throw in elements of BDSM too by tying his hands behind his back, or above his head, and sometimes I’ll blindfold him too.
Read: 7 BDSM ideas and scenarios to explore
I like to tease his stiff dick while he waits for me to take his cock in my mouth. It’s fun to watch him squirm, and I’ll purposely take my time slowly licking his balls or running my tongue up and down the length of his shaft.
Ready to get down to some serious sucking?
Oral sex can be the perfect way to connect with your partner while providing heady pleasure. To make the experience successful and special, take time to talk to your partner and understand their needs and wants.
This is the perfect opportunity to show how much you admire and worship their cock, so don’t rush. Relish giving head and pleasing your lover, and hopefully he will return the favor by eating your pussy with the same level of enthusiasm.
Frequently asked questions about pleasuring a man orally
How can I pleasure my man orally?
Start with conversation - ask what he likes - then slow-build. Use your lips, tongue and targeted attention on the head (especially the underside/frenulum) with soft suction and circular licks. Vary pressure and rhythm, watch his reactions, and mix mouth work with your hands for extra stimulation.
How do I make hand + mouth feel better together?
Match the mouth and hand rhythms: if you’re using your hand around the shaft, mirror the up-and-down speed and pressure of your mouth. Twist your wrist slightly for added sensation, keep your hand lubricated (saliva or lube if you both like it), and leave the mouth to focus on the tip/head while the hand handles the shaft.
I gag easily - how do I go deeper without choking?
Don’t force it. Practice relaxing your throat and breathing through your nose; start shallow and slowly work deeper over sessions. Try desensitizing exercises (progressive depth), control your tongue placement, and stop if you feel panicked. Deepthroating takes time - it’s okay to skip it and use hands for the parts you don’t want in your mouth.
Should I swallow, spit, or set boundaries about cum?
Talk about it beforehand - some people love swallowing, others prefer spitting. Make your preference clear and ask his; a quick pre-sex check eliminates awkwardness. If you prefer not to swallow, have a discreet “plan” (tissues, cup, towel, or leaning away) and communicate when he’s close so he can aim for the agreed option.
What are quick tips to avoid hurting him (or using teeth)?
Be deliberate - use your lips and tongue, not teeth. Keep movements smooth, track his verbal and nonverbal cues, and avoid overly rough pulling or jerking. If you accidentally nip, apologise and slow down; most partners prefer steady, confident technique over flashy, painful moves.
How can I make oral sex playful and sexy (without it being awkward)?
Turn it into foreplay: kiss around the body, tease his balls and shaft, use playful textures (a blindfold, silk scarf) or light bondage if you both enjoy kink. Try little games: take your time, alternate slow and fast, or add a toy (vibrating cock ring or panty vibrator) for surprises. Keep checking in with fun cues (“harder?”, “that good?”) so it stays connected and consensual.