Vanilla sex is nice, but why stick to the same tried and trusted flavor when you can go all out and taste something a little more exciting?
Indulge your wild side with BDSM, and experience everything from fluffy handcuffs to a caned bottom.
Not sure where to start? Luckily, I’ve got 7 BDSM ideas and scenarios up my sleeve for you to explore. That’s enough foreplay for now; let’s get going and get our kink on.
A sound spanking
Of all the BDSM play ideas, spanking comes close to the top of the list. Impact play is versatile and can be used for fun or punishment.
If you’re new to spanking, start with a light hand-spanking; it’s great for a warm-up and a good way to get a feel for impact.
There are plenty of implements to go at, too, and you’ll have a ball trying out floggers and spanking paddles. Save the whips, riding crops & canes for a later date – those aren’t for the fainthearted.
When it comes to spanking positions, OTK (over the knee) is one of my favorite ways to play. It’s intimate, and you can add a role-play element, too.
I like to dress up in a short pleated skirt, tight white blouse, and knee-high socks. My Sir plays the part of a teacher to perfection, with just the right amount of severity in his tone. As I go over his knee, I’m told off for being a bad girl and then thoroughly spanked on my bare booty.
Read: 9 spanking positions ideas & tips
Tied up in knots
Subdue your partner by restraining them, and make sure they are completely under your command.
You can do this in various ways, e.g., cuffs, cable ties, rope, bondage tape, etc. You can restrain limbs such as the wrists and ankles or opt for full body restraint.
Handcuffs can be used to secure wrists behind the back and to attach ankles and wrists to bedposts. A restrained submissive can be very receptive to all sorts of play, and you will be able to tease and torment until your heart’s content.
Bondage rope is also popular and is seen by some as an art form, as well as a type of restraint.
There are plenty of rope classes, books, and online tutorials available to guide you through the intricacies of rope play, and practising is half the fun.
Try out different knots and ties, but remember to do your homework first to ensure safe play, and always have a pair of safety shears on hand to free your submissive.
Read: How to use sex restraints: list, how-to, scenarios
Prisoner of love
If power exchange floats your boat, I’ve got a whole host of BDSM scene ideas for you.
Engage in fun role play by adopting the roles of guard and prisoner. Strip search your detainee to make sure they aren’t hiding any contraband and then leave them locked up to await their fate.
You can pop back with some bread and water for refreshment, and if you’re feeling kind, provide a bucket in their “cell,” just in case they need to relieve themselves at some point. Don’t forget a nice thin mattress and threadbare blanket to add to the scene.
Alternatively, you can try out a kidnapping scene, where you take the role of the captor, and the submissive is your captive.
Chain the detainee to a chair and place a bag on their head while you interrogate them. If you don’t get the answers, you might need to torture your abductee until they squeal.
I enjoy being forced to adopt stress positions when engaging in this type of play, and I’ll often stand with my nose against the wall or my hands on my head.
Keep in mind that this type of BDSM act can prove mentally as well as physically draining, so check in and always play safe.
Read: 14 erotic role-play prompts and scenarios to try with your partner
Sensual sensory
BDSM doesn’t have to be hard and heavy, there are plenty of light BDSM ideas too.
Get sensual with sensory by using a bondage blindfold on your partner and leading them to the bedroom. Take their clothes off slowly and kiss every inch of their body, stroking their naked skin and whispering in their ear as you go. Tell your submissive what you would like to do to them in detail, and how much you want to make them orgasm later.
Using different techniques can add to the sensory experience, so alternate delicate fingertip strokes with raking fingernails over bare flesh, and then move on to using a few props to keep things interesting.
You can titillate your submissive by changing the tools you use – start by using feather ticklers, followed by using Wartenberg pinwheels to prickle.
As they moan and groan with pleasure, you can take the play to a sexual level by using your fingers and then mouth on their pussy or cock, and edge them until they are begging to cum.
Read: 17 sensation play ideas (and 2 scenarios to try)
At your service
We mentioned a few BDSM roleplay ideas earlier, e.g., teacher/student, guard/prisoner, and kidnapper/abductee, but the list goes on.
Have a go at service-oriented submission with a Master/slave scenario. For this, the Dominant partner will take on the role of Master or Mistress, ordering the slave to carry out chores and forcing them to carry out demeaning tasks.
The slave can make drinks, scrub floors, dust surfaces, and clean the bathroom with their toothbrush (if that makes you happy). Make sure they follow the set protocol by wearing appropriate clothing and correctly addressing you, e.g., Ma’am or Sir.
If your submissive slips up, you can introduce creative corrections, such as a firm but playful spanking, having them kneel at your feet for a set time, or making them ask permission for small privileges like speaking or touch.
Read: FemDom play: 15 rules & 15 FemDom role-play ideas
Hot and cold
Temperature play can be a great way to heat things up in the bedroom.
Chill your partner by rubbing ice cubes on their naked skin, circling the nipples and taking the ice down to their genitals.
Or you can give them a creamy treat by squirting chilled cream on their body and licking every last bit off.
Turn up the temperature and get your lover hot and bothered by using a heat pad to touch their flesh. If you’re feeling braver, you can drip hot wax over their flesh and watch as they squirm.
You will need to invest in body-safe wax play candles, so opt for soy candles (soy wax cools quickly when it comes into contact with skin).
You can have lots of fun scraping the wax off after, but use a drop sheet to cover the area around you as scraped-off wax can prove messy.
Read: How to use a glass dildo, cold and warm
Torment and tease
BDSM and sex can go hand in hand, and if the thought of that makes you wet, you should invest in a few toys and play out some naughty BDSM sex ideas.
You can never have too many sex toys. Tie your partner up and provoke them with vibrators, fire them up with dildos or arouse them with a string of anal beads.
If you’re working away, you don’t have to go without kinky fun. You can buy sex toys designed to work up your partner from far away – perfect when you need long-distance BDSM ideas.
Instruct your partner to insert an app-compatible vibrator and make sure you stay firmly in charge of the controls.
You can buzz your partner during their dull commute or pep them up when they are close to dropping off during a work meeting.
My partner likes to give me explicit instructions from afar when he goes away on business. He tells me to strip to sexy undies and retire to the bedroom, getting my vibrator ready at my side.
When he calls as planned at 8pm, I’m already damp with anticipation. My partner tells me to touch my pussy, and as I finger myself and rub my clit, I’m desperate for more. After inserting the vibrator, I have to wait until he presses the buttons to give me the buzz I crave, and to add to this exquisite torture I’m not allowed to cum until he says.
Read: 15 ways to play with remote control sex toys
Are you ready to play?
With 7 BDSM ideas and scenarios to go at, I expect you can’t wait to get playing.
Before you jump in for fun, you’ll need to get to grips with BDSM etiquette and a little thing we call negotiation.
Those in the know understand the importance of SSC (safe, sane, consensual) play and RACK (risk, aware, consensual kink).
You’ll need to discuss expectations and outline the scene, and always remember – consent should be first, last, and everything when it comes to play. Outline boundaries and always use safe words/signals as needed.
BDSM is a great way to enhance your relationship and bedroom fun, whether you’re an avid kink player or brand-spanking-new.
Try using the Obedience app—a playful BDSM task tracker app that gives Dominants control and submissives daily challenges to complete. You can even use it to plan a surprise power exchange weekend, with tasks unlocking one by one as the tension builds.
Play safe, and here’s to lots of BDSM fun.