If power play turns you on it’s high time you got hold of a pair of handcuffs. Perfect for D/s play and to spice up your bedroom antics, use handcuffs to restrain your partner while you toy with and tease them.
Let’s explore how to use handcuffs during sex and BDSM, and delve into a few ideas and scenarios you can use.
Basic tips for playing with handcuffs
My partner and I have been on the kink scene for a while and as bondage aficionados we’ve engaged in some pretty heavy scenes. The best advice we can give is to approach all BDSM play with caution, awareness, and safety at the forefront of all you do.
Communication is critical and you need to negotiate your scene beforehand, gaining consent from all parties. Discuss expectations, outline boundaries, and identify a safe word / safe signal.
Do all of this and you’re headed towards a successful, fun and memorable scene.
If you don’t have a pair already, you’ll need good-quality handcuffs. The cuffs should be sturdy, and durable and have a safety release mechanism for quick removal.
If you’re a nervous newbie you can try handcuffs made from a soft material to begin with – so you can get used to the feeling of the restraints locked to your wrists.
Fluffy handcuffs are cute and playful, and silicone handcuffs are nice and stretchy.
Both are relatively easy to wear and not too uncomfortable. Once you have a bit of experience under your belt you can progress to metal and leather handcuffs.
How to use bondage handcuffs
It’s a good idea to practice handling and using the bondage handcuffs to get a feel for them, and try them on for size before engaging in play.
Don’t get too ambitious, keep things simple to start with, you can progress to more advanced scenarios once you’ve found your feet.
Don’t just dive headfirst, set the mood to make sure you’re both get the most from play. Get it on in a private, comfortable space and warm up with foreplay such as kissing and caressing to get the party started.
We sometimes incorporate using handcuffs into foreplay, and I love the feeling of being restrained while my lover teases me and gets me all worked up.
Alternatively, he leaves the cuffs hanging on the bedpost, while we make out. The anticipation of what’s to come gets my juices flowing and my pulse racing.
Positions you can try with handcuffs
Experimentation is fun, so try using the handcuffs in various ways. You can handcuff your partner to a piece of furniture such as a chair or bed, and torment them.
The cuffs can also be used to secure the wrists together, or if you’re feeling particularly sadistic, cuff their wrist to their ankle!
Handcuffs make sex more interesting and can be used to enhance sexual positions. Missionary-style sex is a good one, as it’s easy to access the wrists and cuff your lover.
Handcuffing the wrists in front will enable your partner to touch themselves while you fuck them, but if you want total control simply cuff their wrists above their head or to the bed frame.
My personal fave is doggy style sex while cuffed. My partner orders me down on all fours and then cuffs my wrists behind my back.
I balance on my knees as he lowers my face to the bed, and I’m left feeling very vulnerable with my ass pointing skyward and my pussy exposed.
He fucks me mercilessly until I’m squealing in submission and begging to cum.
As BDSM fans we also use handcuffs when engaging in spanking or other naughty acts. I enjoy being bent over a spanking bench, metal cuffs clasped to my wrists, and attached to the bench.
My knickers are roughly pulled down and as the smacks begin to rain down my pale cheeks turn red as I pull inanely against my restraints.
Want more detailed positions?
Indulge your passion for power play and discover some naughty-but-nice handcuff sex positions to spice up your bedroom fun.
Missionary
If you’re new to bondage or using handcuffs, start with something simple. Lie back for your lover as they gently cuff your wrists.
Wrists can be cuffed together in front of the body, or the arms can be raised with the wrists cuffed above the head. Either way, the hands will be out of the way, leaving your lover free to explore.
Even if you’re wet and ready, resist the urge to jump straight to fucking. Missionary position with handcuffs lends itself well to slow and sensual sex.
Enjoy the sensation of your lover paying attention to your erogenous zones. Take pleasure as they nibble your neck, delight in the gentle caresses they lavish on your naked breasts, and sigh with content as they work their way toward your pussy.
Cowgirl
Time to turn the tables, this time you will cuff your partner to make sure they can’t get too hands-on during play. This is the perfect position for anyone who absolutely wants to be on top and hold all the power.
Before you secure any wrists, have fun stripping off and horsing around together, getting your lover all heated and horny will make what comes next even more thrilling.
When you’re ready to mount, push your partner back so they're lying on the bed, and then cuff their wrists above their head.
Tease and torment by rubbing your naked tits against them, and grinding against their thigh. Use your hand to toy with their stiff cock, and look them in the eye as you tell them you’re going to buck them like a rodeo bronco.
Leg up
For the leg up, you’ll lie on your side with one leg raised in the air and the cuff attached to one ankle. The other end of the cuff will need to be attached to something high up (so the leg is supported and extended).
Your partner will need to come in at an angle to slide their shaft into you, but once they're in, they'll be able to thrust gently, building the intensity until you’re both ready to pop.
Spoons
For something a little more relaxed, you can’t go wrong with a handcuffed spooning.
Spoon sex is casual and chilled, allowing for intimacy as you curl yourself into the contours of your lover’s body. The addition of handcuffs can add a touch of naughtiness to proceedings.
Lie on your side and get comfy whilst your lover nestles in behind you and cuffs your wrists in front of your body.
Revel in their hot breath on your neck as they plant gentle kisses on your shoulders and reach around to fondle you. With their groin pressed tightly against you, part your legs and allow their cock to find its way inside.
Standing
Handcuffs can be used in a variety of ways; no one said you have to be lying down to use them in the bedroom.
Standing sex can be great fun, but you’ll need to find something stable to stand against, as your hands will be cuffed above your head or to a conveniently located piece of furniture.
With your hands out of the way, you can focus on being touched and caressed. Once you’ve got your balance, wrap one leg around your lover’s thigh as they slide into you.
From here, you can hold on tight while they thrust in and out, until you’re ready for a shuddering orgasm.
Doggy
One of the go-to sex positions and the top of many a list is good old doggy-style sex. This position with handcuffs will take a little more balance, depending on how you approach it, but it’s definitely doable.
Start by getting down on all fours; from here, your lover can cuff your hands in front of you - bend lower if that’s comfier. With your thighs spread and your ass sticking up in the air, you’ll make a pretty sight.
If you fancy taking things up a notch and are feeling ambitious, you could have your wrists cuffed behind your back.
This position can be more intense as you will be leaning right over to compensate for your hands behind your back. With your face to the bed, your pussy and ass will be fully exposed, and ready for a doggy-style shag.
Spread Eagle
You’ll need two sets of handcuffs for this, and as the saucy name suggests, your legs will be spread nice and wide.
One end of each cuff is secured to the ankle, and the other is secured to a bedpost (or something similar). With the legs spread, your lover gets to see your goodies on show, and they can use their fingers, tongue, or a toy to kickstart the fun.
Hogtie
This one is not for nervous newbies, but once you’re confident using and wearing cuffs, experimentation can be fun. You’ll need two sets of handcuffs and a level of flexibility.
For the hogtie, you’ll need to lie flat on your tummy - arms stretched behind you, legs bent at the knee, and feet pointing towards your ass.
One set of cuffs secures the wrists together, and the other secures the ankles. The hogtie part comes when those two sets of handcuffs are attached.
Handcuffs don’t have much give, so, unless you are extremely flexible, it’s wise to use a scarf to fix the two sets together – this will provide more wiggle room. Once you’re securely hogtied with cuffs, your partner can enjoy teasing you until you’re moaning and groaning with pleasure.
Showtime
You can do this one in a variety of ways, but showtime inevitably involves handcuffs and masturbation. One person sits on a chair or on the edge of the bed with their hands cuffed behind their back. The other slowly undresses, caressing themselves and telling their lover how good it feels.
If you’re handcuff-free, then you hold the power. You can strip, play with yourself, make yourself cum, and have as much as you please. If you're wearing the handcuffs, you’re in for a slightly more frustrating time. You get to watch, but you don’t get to touch!
Ideas and scenarios you can try with handcuffs
When it comes to roleplay, handcuffs can be used to enhance a wide range of scenes.
I like turning my partner into a voyeur by making him watch me put on a sexy show. I direct him to a chair and cuff his hands behind his back. I then perform a sexy striptease, pulling off clothes to reveal black lacy undies teamed with stockings and suspenders.
The bulge in his pants grows as I straddle his lap, unhooking my bra and rubbing my tits against his face. I then grind against his stiffy, my pussy getting wetter as I feel the hard-on pushing against my silky panties.
If he’s a good boy I drop to my knees pull his cock free and suck him until he’s ready to explode. With his hands firmly secured I can torment them by pausing and asking them if they want more, which usually sends them into overdrive.
Role-play is great fun too.
You can take turns playing cops and robbers or guard and prisoner. The cop or guard takes control, capturing the robber or prisoner and snapping handcuffs onto their wrists.
Make the scene more realistic by wearing costumes and adopting personas. You don’t need to go as far as writing a script but having a plan is a good idea to ensure things run smoothly.
Once the prisoner is secured you can bark orders and frisk them to ensure they aren’t hiding anything naughty. A strip search may be necessary too (although if they’re handcuffed, you’re going to have to do the stripping for them).
Add to the scene by blindfolding your prisoner or forcing them into a cage, if they behave, they might even get a piece of stale bread, a glass of water, and a bucket to piss in.
With so many interesting scenarios and creative ways to play handcuffs should be an essential part of your kit. Restrain your lover and make them giddy with desire as you torment, tease, suck, and fuck them.
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