My wrists and ankles are encased in leather cuffs, fastened by chains to the columns of a regal-looking four-poster bed.
My naked skin tingles with anticipation as I hear my lover whisper my name. I feel vulnerable, but horny as hell, and I can’t wait to be teased, tormented, and thoroughly fucked.
Welcome to the rousing world of bondage sex, an exquisite form of kinky fun involving the restraint of a lover as part of sexual play.
It may sound extreme, especially if you’re not sure how to use bondage restraints, but this form of play is a great way to boost your bedroom antics.
What are BDSM restraints?
Whether you’re a fan of submitting and being tied, teased, and fucked, or prefer to be in control, there’s plenty of fun to be had with BDSM restraints.
If you head to any sex store, or browse the online marketplace you’ll find a dazzling array of sex restraints.
The good news is you don’t have to be a BDSM expert to get in on the action.
There is something for everyone, regardless of experience level, gender, or orientation. You’ll find all sorts, from lightweight restraints for newcomers and those who prefer gentler play to hardcore restraints designed for kink veterans.
There are so many sex restraints to choose from you’ll be spoiled for choice. Snap on metal handcuffs, or slide on chunky leather cuffs. Tie your lover in knots with bondage rope or stick them fast with bondage tape to render them helpless.
You can take the lead with collars and leashes, secure them with bondage harnesses, hold them captive in your boudoir with bed restraints and ties, or truss them up with hog tie restraints.
How to use bondage restraints during sex
Getting tied up for sex can be a real thrill. I love being restrained tightly and fucked until I’m ready to explode, but you don’t have to jump straight in at the deep end, start with simple bondage techniques and work your way up the kinky ladder.
Before you whip out the cuffs and fasten your partner to the ceiling you’ll need to have a pre-play chat. In the BDSM world, we call this negotiation, and it’s a key part of any scene.
Don’t be shy, after all, if you can’t talk openly with your partner, you shouldn’t be getting your kit off or entering into any manner of kinky fuckery.
Discuss expectations, outline boundaries, identify safe words/signals, and make sure all parties fully consent before you get down to using sex restraints.
When you do get started, take your time. Try out your BDSM restraints for size and practice putting them on and taking them off.
It’s a good idea to have a care kit nearby too just in case. Your kit should include water, a blanket, first aid items, a mobile phone, and safety shears for a quick release.
Always keep the key to collars and cuffs handy too. The last thing you want to do is contact emergency services to beg them to help you release your poor submissive.
How to use wrist and ankle restraints
You can use wrist and ankle restraints to fasten your lover to a piece of furniture or simply keep them still while standing, sitting, or lying down.
Perhaps you want to put your partner into a particular position before teasing and pleasing them, wrist and ankle restraints are great for that too.
The way you use the restraints partly depends on the type of restraints you use, we’ll discover more about the options shortly…
How to Use Handcuffs
When it comes to play you can use the cuffs to fasten together wrists and ankles or to secure limbs to objects such as a chair or spanking bench.
You can pop them on for foreplay and remove them for the main event, or leave the handcuffs in place and screw your lover while they’re still restrained.
When I think of handcuffs images of broad-shouldered cops taking down perps’ pop into my head. Heavy-duty handcuffs are perfect for guard and prisoner scenes, and abduction role-play.
I love how the shiny metallic cuffs are snapped on with the realization that there’s no escape. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.
If that seems too rough, keep it lighter with playful fluffy handcuffs or pliable silicone handcuffs for a comfier fit. I’ve tried both and can attest they are relatively easy to wear and won’t weigh you down too much.
I’ve also used leather cuffs and I love it when my guy pulls the thick hide onto my wrists before pulling the buckle tight.
Whichever type you choose, I’d suggest going for a good-quality pair that’s sturdy and fitted with a safety release mechanism, just in case.
Have a go at fastening and unfastening the cuffs so you’re comfortable using them, and always keep the key safely nearby.
Read: How to use handcuffs during sex and BDSM: Ideas and scenarios
How to use Bondage Harnesses
Bondage harnesses can be worn for fashion or naughty fun, they are versatile items, and when I pull one on it reminds me of the feeling, I get from wearing a corset, a tight hug, but a sexy one!
The leather straps wrap around my body, clinging to my thighs, snaking around my torso, and edging around my tits. I like it when my lover buckles me in, tugging the straps. I feel sexy and I know my guy thinks I look hot too; I can tell by the bulge in his jeans…
If full-body bondage is a stretch you can opt for an upper-body harness or a lower-body one. Combine with cuffs or a collar for a stylish BDSM look you can wear in the bedroom or (if you’re feeling brave) to a club.
Wearing a bondage harness should get you in the mood for kink and I like it when my lover pulls me around by the straps. I add a pair of long boots or high heels and totter around for him, teasing him by wiggling my bare ass in his face.
How to use bondage rope or tape
Rope and tape are staples in the bondage world for newbies, intermediates, and experts alike. Open any kit bag and you’re likely to find one if not both, and they work fabulously well as sex restraints.
Rope comes in a variety of fibers, diameters, and lengths. The fiber dictates the appearance, texture, and strength of the rope, but if you’re new to bondage don’t get too tied up in knots about all of that at this stage.
Beginners should start with something soft and pliable such as cotton rope, as it’s easy to use and won’t put too much strain on the body. Other materials include hemp, which is also soft but boasts firmness that many subs find alluring.
As you progress you can try out jute which has a natural sheen and is favored by sadistic players.
Bondage rope tops the list for many kinksters as it can be used in so many ways.
You can restrain the wrists and ankles, or tie the limbs (just do your homework first to make sure you’re tying safely). For some rope is more than just a way to restrain, it’s also an art form.
I love to be tied in a rope harness, the strands wrapped seductively around my tits and winding their way around my back and front. If my Dom is feeling particularly mean he’ll pass the rope between my legs too and pull it taut so it rubs between my pussy lips and ass cheeks – exquisite torture.
Bondage tape is fun to use too.
If you’ve not used it before you’ll probably be surprised at how stretchy and pliable it can be. You can wind it around arms and legs to incapacitate your sub and cover mouths and eyes to restrict sight and prevent squeals.
I once witnessed a slave being taped from head to toe, which proved thrilling. He was tightly wrapped and looked like a caterpillar in a cocoon by the end of it.
How to use collars and leashes
Being led around the room by a Dominant always puts a smile on my face. With the collar around my neck and the leash pulled ahead I have no choice but to scurry behind.
Sometimes I’ll be forced down on all fours and made to crawl, which makes for humiliating but exhilarating play.
Pet play is an interesting way to get your kink on. Take your collared pup for a walk in the garden (and make sure they cock their leg when they need a pee).
You can also get them to drink from a doggy bowl or play fetch, and don’t forget to tickle their belly if they’re a good pup.
If that’s not your bag just use your collars and leashes in the bedroom. Wear it around your neck or pop it on your lover and take turns wearing a leash while your partner takes charge.
How to use under-the-bed restraints
Great for an abduction scene, bed restraints and ties are easy to fit and use. They are also discreet and can be fitted and then left in place to use later.
The restraints are made up of straps that fit beneath the mattress, with the wrist and ankle connectors on top of the mattress.
We played out a great scene using under-the-bed restraints recently. I dressed in sexy lingerie sets (black lace bra and knickers with matching stockings) and draped a silky black dressing gown around my shoulders before lounging on the bed to read.
The house was quiet, but the unmistakable creak on the stairway caught my attention. I held my breath, realizing I wasn’t alone and someone was headed toward my room.
I looked toward the door just in time to see the handle slowly turn and a tall dark figure stride in. He was upon me before I had a chance to make a move and pinned me to the bed without a word.
All in black, with a mask covering his face I should have been petrified, but thankfully my lover and I had orchestrated this scene earlier in the day and as he pressed his lips onto mine, I felt nothing but a longing desire to be fucked hard by this intruder.
Read: Consensual non-consent: CNC play ideas and how-to
The under-the-bed restraints came into their own, with the prowler deftly pulling off my bra and panties before securing my ankles and wrists. He then went on to grope and fondle me, pushing his cock into my tight pussy and thrusting until I begged for mercy.
How to use spreader bars
Open wide, it’s time for your close-up. Nope, I’m not visiting the dentist, I’m lying on my back with my legs splayed wide open and my pussy on show in all of its glory.
The shiny spreader bar is fixed to my ankles and prevents me from hiding my modesty, or the trail of shiny pre-cum snaking down my thigh.
My lover is enjoying my obvious discomfort, but while I find the situ slightly mortifying, I’m also turned on.
As exhibitionists, we like to use ours at sex clubs, and I get a kick out of being forced to wear a spreader before having my pussy fingered or buzzed to orgasm by vibrators, while an audience looks on.
Of course, you don’t have to go to the same extremes as we do. You can use spreader bars in the comfort of your bedroom to spice up sex. Try it out on each other and use it with a bondage blindfold to add to the sensory excitement.
How to use hog tie restraints
I’m lying on my front with my legs bent at the knees, and toes pointed toward my head. My arms are bent back behind me too and my wrists and ankles are connected, forcing my body into an unnatural bow shape.
As a seasoned rigger, my lover can hog-tie me relatively easily with rope, but it can be a tricky stunt to pull off, so your best option would be to invest in hog-tie restraints.
Hog tie restraints make life easier as you can fix cuffs to wrists and ankles and then use the strap to attach the cuffs to a central point at the rear of your torso.
There’s no fiddly rope to worry about and you’ll achieve the same pleasing arch shape. Once hog tied your partner is effectively at your mercy and you can enjoy poking, prodding, and touching however you please.
Sex restraints to keep you bound by lust
If you need a boost in the lust department or just fancy trying something new, bondage restraints will inject some passion and fun into play.
You don’t have to be a BDSM fan or natural Dominant or submissive to try out sex restraints, they can be used by all, and you can take it in turns to use them on one another.
Handcuff your partner’s wrists behind their back, dress them up in a body harness for an erotic photo, or use rope to bind their limbs and leave them begging for more.
With so many options, sex restraints will keep things fresh in the bedroom and ensure you’re both bound by lust.