Hot, cold, warm, or chilled, you can use varying temperatures to add a new slant to BDSM and sensation play.
Hot and cold stimuli, such as ice cubes and heated wax, are perfect to tease and titillate your lover.
Would you like to discover how to explore temperature play? If so, read on for a few tips and ideas to try…

Tools for temperature play
If you want to do a good job, you need the right tools, and when it comes to temperature play, you have plenty to choose from.
Send shivers down your lover’s spine with ice cubes rubbed on naked flesh. Slowly drag the cube along their limbs and torso, pausing to rub it around their lips. I enjoy it when my partner teases my nipples with the cool edge of a cube before tracing a line down towards my pussy.
You can also use a chilly willy to torment your lover, just pop metal or glass dildos in the fridge to chill. Once it’s nice and cold, use the toy to touch your other half in their sensitive spots.
Read: How to use a dildo for the first time?
You can go hot as well as cold by using heated massage oils, metal toys, or wax.
Sexy massage oils make a nice introduction to temperature play, as they’re easy to use and not too extreme. Warm the oils and massage your partner, caressing them from head to toe and paying particular attention to erogenous zones.
Metal dildos can be fun too, warm them gently and use them to touch and taunt.
If you want to try something more extreme, I can highly recommend wax play candles. This involves dripping candle wax onto your lover’s body. If you fancy giving this a go, do so with caution and follow the safety tips laid out in the next paragraph.
How to get started with temperature play and top safety tips
Temperature play carries an element of risk, but if you engage safety, you will have a ball.
As with all BDSM play, you’ll need to talk through your plans in advance and agree on consent. Discuss what you would like, point out what you would not like, and identify safe words and signals.
Check in with each other during play, and don’t forget to add in aftercare to finish your scene with a flourish.
Start with something simple, such as rubbing a warm or chilled flannel across the back or torso. You can build up to hot wax and freezing ice, there’s no rush to grab the hottest or coldest thing you can find.
Avoid extreme temperatures, such as very hot liquid, e.g., boiling water. No one needs a visit to the emergency room as part of their aftercare!

Similarly, you need to take care with ice. While it’s fun to use this around sensitive spots such as the pussy, ass and cock, it’s never a good idea to insert it directly into any of these areas. Ice can get stuck, causing damage and irritation, and that’s not the sort of sensation play anyone needs in their life.
Before you grab your tool of choice, it’s a good idea to familiarise yourself with temperature play techniques – and as they say, practice makes perfect.
It’s important to try things out on yourself before you play with your partner. Get a feel for a chilled glass sex toy pressing on your inner thigh, or a candle wax dripped over your chest, before you inflict hot and cold sensations on your other half.
While we are on the topic of candle wax, you must use the right type of candles.
Forget the standard ones sitting on your mantelpiece, you’ll need body-safe, chemical-free wax play candles that burn at a lower temperature for fun BDSM play.
Creative temperature play ideas
You can get up to all sorts with temperature play, from slowly dragging ice cubes across erogenous zones to drizzling warm oil over sensitive skin to provide a sensual massage.
Read: 17 sensation play ideas (and 2 scenarios to try)
Warm or chill metal dildos or glass dildos, for safe insertable fun, or feel the burn with a candle wax session designed to sizzle and seduce.
I love the burning sensation caused by wax dripping onto my bare skin, and once you’ve mastered the basics, you can create all sorts of wild and wonderful patterns using a myriad of colors.
Alternating temperature proves thrilling, too.
Going from hot to cold and back again varies the sensation and will keep the recipient on their toes. Give this a try easily by introducing food and drink into the mix.
I’m talking chilled wine, whipped cream, and strawberries straight from the fridge versus warm fudge cake, melted chocolate, and even custard! You get to play with temperatures and enjoy a delicious buffet at the same time, so it’s win, win!

There are more extreme forms of temperature play, but these are for more seasoned BDSM players.
Medicated rubs pack a punch, but they’re not for the faint-hearted and can be very uncomfortable.
Cupping, which involves the sucking up of skin using glass bulbs, is also popular. Heat causes a vacuum to “cup” the skin, which often leaves a noticeable circular bruise after.
Finally, we have fire play with torches – possibly the most extreme of all. I’ve engaged in fire play with my partner, and it looks (and feels) spectacular. Fire play involves brushing a lighted torch across the skin, combining fear with exhilaration – I adore the flicker of the flame drawing closer.
Enhancing temperature play with other elements
Temperature play can be combined with other elements to enhance your BDSM session.
Bondage restraints are a great example of this, as being bound by wrists and ankles to the bed and left helpless can heighten temperature play even more.
Read: How to use sex restraints: list, how-to, scenarios
Sensory deprivation works well too – use blindfolds for sex on your submissive or place a bondage mask or hood over their head to limit their vision. You can also add headphones or earplugs so they won’t know what to expect, be it hot, cold, warm, or chilled.
Heat it up or cool it down
Temperature play is the perfect way to build intimacy with your partner and try out something new. Keep it light at the start and enjoy teasing and arousing one another with different temperatures and tools.
Don’t be afraid to try out various combinations until you find something that offers the right mix of hot fun and exhilarating chills.