How to use a dildo, alone or with a partner

Dildos are not a new concept; it seems people have been using phallus-shaped objects to bring themselves off for quite some time.

In 2005, a research team from a German University discovered a 28,000-year-old siltstone dildo in a cave.

I’m sure back then it did the job, but thankfully we don’t have to masturbate with toys made from sedimentary rock anymore. 

Dildos today

Nowadays, there are all sorts of dildos available in a range of shapes, sizes, and materials.

There are silicone dildos, metal dildos, hollow dildos, dildos made from glass and so much more. You can choose an easy-to-accommodate teeny weaner or a monster cock.

Will you opt for a flesh-colored realistic dildo designed to look like a veiny cock, or a unique one designed to resemble a dolphin? 

Some dildos come with suction cups so you can stick them to a surface and go for a ride, others can be strapped on with a harness.

You’ve also got vibrating dildos and double-sided or double-penetration dildos designed for two people to use at the same time.

With so many dildos it can be hard to choose, but once you get yours, you’ll need to get to grips with how to use it. 

Newbie? Learn How to use a dildo for the first time.

How to use a dildo alone

Most of us like to masturbate – playing with ourselves by pulling our cocks or flicking our beans until we’re ready to pop.

Fingers and hands work well to tease and tantalize but if you can work a dildo into the mix you’ll have a ball. 

Foreplay and sex lubricants are your friends when it comes to dildo self-love.

Get in the mood by touching yourself in all your fave places.

Use your fingers before introducing the dildo, or perhaps rub the dildo over your genitals to get those natural juices flowing.

Once you’re feeling turned on you can use the lube to make sure the dildo slips and slides perfectly into place. 

Whilst thrusting naturally springs to mind when we think of dildos there are other ways to play with yourself.

You could just insert the toy into your pussy or ass and enjoy the sensation of feeling full. 

Some people like to play with themselves while stuffed, gently rubbing their clit or tugging cock until they cum.

Alternatively, you could squeeze your muscles so they tense around the dildo, before releasing and repeating. 

When it comes to penetration finding the right position can be challenging.

If you’re holding the dildo yourself you need to be able to move it in a way that hits your spot.

If you’re looking for a bit more stability you could try using a dildo with a suction cup base.

I have one like that and I love fastening my toy to a flat surface and riding it like a cowgirl – Yee Haw!

You could also try attaching the suction cup to the wall, that way you can push back on your dildo and enjoy thrusting as deep as you like.

How to use a dildo with a partner 

Using dildo with your partner is all about imagination and creativity. Combine the ways I mentioned above together with a partner. Dildo is a friend during foreplay, during oral and also, during penetration.

Sometimes, it feels super good to just have it in, while having fun with your partner.

You can also use a dildo strap-on to penetrate your partner.

I’ve been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a dildo and I’ve dished out dildo fun too – it’s all about give and take after all. 

If you’re going to try out a dildo together, you’ll need to have a chat about it first.

Consent is always key in any form of play so make sure you’re both in agreement that you’re up for it, and don’t forget to set boundaries and identify safe words/signals. 

Dildo hygiene

Hygiene is important too; will you be sharing sex toys or are you going to keep your dildo all to yourself?

If your dildo is going to be used by more than one person it’s a good idea to use condoms to ensure cleanliness - or boil them between uses to keep them safe. A dildo made from body-safe silicone can be boiled without a problem, however, other materials will most likely melt.

If you’re new to the world of dildos it’s best to stick to a simple design that’s not too huge when you start. You can always progress to interesting shapes and larger sizes once you’ve got used to dildo action. 

About flared base

Flared-based dildos are a great choice as you can use them without the worry of the toy being rammed too far into one of your holes.

Flared-based dildos can also be used with harnesses as they tend to sit securely.

When you put on the harness, make sure it fits snugly so it won’t slip and slip.

Then attach your dildo to the harness and get ready to thrust.

Don’t just dive straight into dildo partner play.

Foreplay should still be on the cards, so touch one another, kiss, and caress. Get yourselves all worked up before the dildo comes into play.

Lube is a good idea too as it will help facilitate easy insertion.

Classic sexual positions are your best bet at the start. Good old missionary is a winner, and doggy can work well too.

You can also try a seated position where your partner perches on the edge of the bed or a chair and slide the dildo into place. 

Things to consider when choosing and using a dildo

We’ve mentioned that dildos come in a range of materials (click here to read more about sex toy materials).

Ideally, you’re looking for a dildo made from nonporous materials such as silicone, glass, stainless steel, etc. as they don’t harbor germs (but you’ll still need to clean your dildo once you’ve used it).

We’ve touched on using condoms and lube. If you are using lube, make sure you buy the right type, so stay away from silicone lube if you’re using silicone dildos (opt for water-based lube instead). If you’re using condoms don’t use oil-based lube as this can damage the sheath.

Do you want to find out more about dildos, other sex toys, and all things sex and kink?  

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