How to use strap-on dildo for the first (or any) time - harness, lube, positions

I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have a penis. As a vagina owner, I’ve imagined holding a stiff cock in my hand, tugging it when I fancy a wank, fucking my lover, and then shooting my load with a satisfied smirk.

Sadly, I’ll never experience the real deal, but I can enjoy the next closest thing, a strap-on dildo.

Since trying the strap-on dildo years ago, I think it's safe to say I mastered the art and today, I'd like to tell you how to use a strap-on dildo for the first (or any other) time.

Introduction to strap-on dildos

I wear my strap-on dildos with a harness, it’s a fabulous toy that allows me to penetrate vaginally and anally (pegging).

I’ve bonked a male and female while wearing it, and both experiences rate highly on my list of standout sexual exploits.

Maybe it’s a role reversal thing, but I’ve discovered giving can be almost as much fun as receiving.

If you’re new to the world of strap-on dildos don’t get in a tizz, like all sex toys it’s about experimentation and building confidence.

You can do several things to prep for strap-on-play, including getting the right equipment.

Go for something simple, easy to wear, and slender. Something from a non-vibrating strap-on dildos collection. Double check the size.

Trying to shove a monster dildo up your lover’s ass or into your lover’s pussy during your first session could prove traumatic for both of you.

It’s a good idea to get familiar with your new toy before you try and stick it in any hole.

When I got my first strap on dildo a friend advised me to wear it around the house for a bit, which I found highly amusing. I remember attaching the dildo to one of my strap-on harnesses and staring at my new dick in the mirror.

It looked odd and I needed to get used to it, so I set off to the kitchen to make a cuppa.

It took a while to get comfy with my appendage and that first tea-making adventure proved eventful, with my cock almost getting shut in a drawer with the teaspoons.

I spent some time getting hands on with my strap on and soon got used to the way it looked and felt so I figured it was time to share it with my lover.

We were both looking forward to trying out the strap-on, as pegging virgins we were nervous but we watched some dildo porn to set the tone.

Porn is great for setting the wheels of sex in action, but it can also be a useful tool.

Watching people fuck each other with strap-on dildos gave us a feel for what it would be like, and gave us a few good ideas to boot.

We discussed how the scene would play out, shared expectations, outlined boundaries, and identified a safe word. We also made sure our lube was in the sex toy chest – something I would advise you to go out and buy if you’re planning on donning a strap on dildo and screwing your other half.

I usually recommend a water-based sex lubricant but for anal, silicone sex lubricants might provide a smoother solution.

When you do get going start slowly.

Foreplay is key as it warms you both up and helps build sexual tension.

It doesn’t matter if you’re penetrating the vagina or ass, don’t go straight in. You can use your fingers, tongue, vibrator, etc to get things moving in the right direction.

How to use a strap-on dildo?

There’s more than one way to play with a strap on dildo, as I’ve found out much to my delight.

Whether you’re in for a pussy banging or blowing the back doors off, you can get creative with your sexual fun.

Oral sex can be interesting too, and I got a real kick from watching my lover down on their knees licking and sucking my artificial (but authentic-looking knob).

Try different sex positions

When it comes to sexual positions it’s best to start simple.

Go for positions you know and feel comfortable with (I would suggest saving the standing wheelbarrow and piledriver for a later date).

Missionary and doggy are both safe bets for vaginal sex when you’re starting out with a strap on dildo.

If you’re pegging a butt then down on all fours is the way to go too. Be it on the bed or the floor, an exposed asshole will be easier to find and fuck.

Try oral sex

We love pussy and ass action, but there are other places to stick your strap-on.

Oral sex with a faux-cock can be interesting too. I get a real kick from watching my lover down on his knees licking and sucking my artificial (but authentic-looking) knob.

He needs more practice, but that’s half the fun. We can play a naughty game of you suck my cock and I’ll suck yours.

I can’t shoot my load, but I can watch him make a meal out of my shaft before I drop to my knees and make sure he gets a thorough lick and suck before he cums.

Power exchange play

For some, the strap on dildo is purely for fun, but for others, it brings something else to the table.

Strap on play can be used as a form of power exchange to enhance a D/s (Dom/sub) dynamic or scenario. The wearer of the strap on dildo generally takes a dominant role, penetrating the submissive.

Introduce more kink

You can take this a step further by incorporating kinky roleplay or BDSM play (remember to negotiate, seek consent, set boundaries, and identify safe words).

There are several scenarios such as forcing your lover to beg for cock and tying your partner to the bed for an energetic pegging.

Take things up a notch by spanking your other half too or hooding them so they cannot see.

Learn how to properly spank your partner.

Multiple people

Once you’ve gained confidence you can move on to more advanced play and maybe invite others to join the party too.

Strap on play for two is lots of fun, but a threesome involving a strap on can be amazing, and a strap on orgy purely mind blowing.

Needless to say, the strap on dildo certainly gets my vote and I think it’s a great piece of kit for both vagina owners and penis owners of all orientations.

Whether you like to give or take, a whole load of strap on fun awaits.