I’m what you might call a chatterbox, someone who loves to talk and laugh, and when it comes to sex, you would probably describe me as a screamer. As a loud and proud submissive, imagine my turmoil when silenced.
With a ball gag unceremoniously shoved into my mouth, I am unable to speak or scream, and as much as it pains me to say, I enjoy it!
The thing is, I like to give up control and enjoy the feeling of submitting to my Dom. The sensory deprivation of speech restriction sends me into a spin and heightens my pleasure, and if you haven’t tried it yet, I’m more than happy to tell you how to use a ball gag.
Read on for tips, ideas and scenarios….
Choosing the right type of ball gag
Mouth gags come in a range of styles, materials, and sizes, and if you haven’t used one before, you might be a bit worried about shoving one in your mouth.
Fear not, ball gags are great fun, it’s just a case of choosing the right one for you.
The ball gag typically incorporates a ball that sits securely in your mouth to restrict speech and noise. The gag is kept in place by straps secured around the head.
Leather ball gags are stiff and rigid, whereas rubber and silicone ball gags are often softer, rounder, and more pliable.
Ball gags also come in vented and non-vented designs. As the name suggests, the vented gag has holes. If you’re new to using ball gags, I would suggest trying a vented ball gag first, as they allow for easier breathing.
Non-vented balls are solid, so you won’t get extra air passing through, however, you will still be able to breathe.
Newbies should stick to small, vented silicone or rubber balls for a memorable first-time experience.
Once you have experience under your belt, you can try a leather ball gag, a larger ball, or even a locking ball gag. Locking ball gags are secured in place behind the head and can only be removed by your Dom.
Safety and hygiene tips for using a ball gag
I always engage in SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play with play partners to limit risk and maximize fun. Always talk to your partner before you contemplate engaging in any BDSM act, including using ball gags.
Discuss how the gag will be used, how long it will be worn, and what you are going to get up to while wearing it.
Identify limits, too – this is the perfect opportunity to discuss health issues and outline boundaries.
You also need to identify a safe signal, note I use the term safe signal here rather than safe word. That’s because you’ll have a whacking big ball in your mouth and won’t be able to speak…
If you’re new to using ball gags, keep it simple by sticking to a small, lightweight ball with vents for easy breathing.
Once you’ve got your hands on your chosen ball gag, try it for size. Don’t fasten the straps too tightly; that way, you can remove the gag quickly once you’ve had enough.
Wearing a ball gag will probably feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve not worn one before. I found myself dribbling very quickly, but once you’ve gotten used to the sensation of drool dripping down your chin, you’ll be tickety-boo.
Once you’ve removed the ball gag, don’t forget to give it a good clean. It’s important to wash all the spittle off ready for next time, and it goes without saying, don’t share your ball gag with others.
How to use a ball gag in play
You can use a ball gag to enhance a power exchange D/s dynamic. I am regularly gagged by my Dom – sometimes for punishment and sometimes for pleasure.
With my Dom controlling and restricting my speech, I feel vulnerable and more fulfilled by my submission.
Read: How to use sex restraints: list, how-to, scenarios
My Dom often combines the ball gag with a bondage blindfold and bondage restraints to heighten the experience. I’m a fan of sensory deprivation so when I find myself unable to reach out and touch, unable to see, and unable to say anything my mind goes into overdrive (as does my juicy pussy).
The heady combination of sensory deprivation mixed with being tied and teased leaves me breathless.
With the gag and restraint amplifying my helplessness, I cannot moan, groan, complain, or even say thank you. Instead, I have to be still and silent, which for me amounts to delicious torture.
Read: BDSM sensory deprivation for beginners: how to guide
Creative scenarios to try with a ball gag
Ball gags are versatile toys, they can be used during sex for quiet play or incorporated into creative BDSM scenarios to take the fun up a notch. My partner and I are into Domestic Discipline, and part of our D/s dynamic involves me serving him by completing tasks and chores.
My Dom takes pleasure in writing me a list of chores and forcing me to complete them while gagged.
The ball gag between my teeth and drool running down my chin aids my compliance, and as I silently clean and tidy, I feel a heightened sense of submission and ownership.
My Dom also uses the gag to enhance punishment play, something I disliked when we first tried it. As I said earlier, I’m a naturally loud person, so when I’m disciplined, I usually let out a series of squeals and sobs. This becomes a trial when a ball gag prevents little more than quiet moans and groans from escaping my vocal cords.
I am forced to endure the beating silently, which somehow adds to the intensity and control.
Read: Consensual non-consent: CNC play ideas and how-to
We’ve also used the gag during edging. If you’re not familiar with the term, edging involves bringing your partner almost to orgasm before pausing, and then going back in for more naughty fun.
I love to cum, so when my lover gets me to the verge of a big O and then pulls back, I find it immensely frustrating. I just want to grab his shirt, pull him your close and shout “Fuck me hard, now,” right in his face. But of course, I can’t – because the ball gag is doing its job.
Gagged and gagging for it
If you haven’t got any mouth gags in your toy box or kit bag, it’s time you invested.
The gag can be used to spice up your sex life or to add something new to a D/s dynamic.
Read: 7 BDSM ideas and scenarios to explore
Don’t forget to employ an SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) approach when playing and always talk to your partner before, during, and after play. However, if it’s during play, your silenced partner probably won’t have much to say!