If society's obsession with the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey taught us something is that many people fantasize about BDSM.

But the popularity of E.L. James’s books and movies maybe gave you the impression that the BDSM world didn't exist before.

But the world of bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism have a rich and long history. BDSM roots date back to Mesopotamia, where they enjoyed whipping and dominance.

Now in the modern era, BDSM is more popular than ever before. It is gaining fans also among non-kink couples that want to experiment with kinky sex in their relationships. Countless sexual practices can be explored under the BDSM umbrella from soft, mild, and most daring.

Bondage is one of the most known and popular choices for most couples. Kink, which includes your tied lover, defenseless and left to your mercy, gives you a lot of different scenarios and playful opportunities.

What is bondage? 

Bondage includes restraining, tying, and binding the partner for various sexual activities and positions, aesthetic reasons, or physical stimulation.

Bondage can involve simple restraining with handcuffs, complex tying with rope, or something in between. 

If you are a beginner in bondage, you don't need to get overwhelmed and start with tricky rope play. Buy comfortable hand restraints and blindfolds and explore sweet and simple tying fun. Then you can slowly rise to complex and advanced bondage.  

Experiment with simple restraining and experiment with the bondage play without pressure.

What makes bondage sexy? 

There are so many different reasons why bondage is so hot:

  • The exchange of power and dynamics between submissive and dominant partners is a major turn-on for many partners. One of them is totally tied up, surrendering to another partner, which requires deep trust in the relationship. 
  • Some lovers love bondage due to aesthetic reasons. A nice body, wrapped in the rope, passionately bound by a dominant lover. Many see bondage as art that doesn't need to include the sexual act but as intimate connection and expression through rope play.
  • Bondage can be dangerous, and danger in kinky sex can be sexy and exciting. Many bondage lovers - either as receivers or givers in bondage play - feel as they walk on the edge and play with fire, which increases their arousal.
  • When we experience stress or pain, our bodies release endorphins. These happy hormones boost pleasure, reduce pain and make us less stressed. And the relaxation of endorphins during bondage and a flying feeling after makes lovers obsessed with this play.
  • Tied participants often feel relaxed and don't feel the pressure to make anything other than just receive pleasure. They can observe and enjoy sensations without focusing on satisfying someone else.
  • Dominant partner often loves the control and power they have over submissive partner. Seeing their helpless and restrained partner will heighten their arousal and stimulate them during any sexual act.

Establish the boundaries

Bondage is the form of BDSM, and this means you should consider some safety guidelines that will make the experience safe and pleasant for all participants:

  • Consent. Each participant must enthusiastically agree to every act of the play and without any force.
  • Limits. We all have boundaries that need to be respected during sexual acts. Tell your partner what turn you off and what you don't want to do during bondage. 
  • Scenario. You don't need to discuss every detail of the play but make sure you are on the same page and build the bondage scenario. Talk about equipment, place, type of bondage, and other little things.
  • Safewords. Choose a safety method that allows you to finish the bondage if you don't feel good. It can be a simple word that you can use to stop your partner. Many lovers use a traffic light system that helps them navigate through the experience without fear. 
  • Communication. Partners who respect each other and have a strong connection with open communication usually have the most pleasant BDSM experience. Always communicate with your partner - before, during, and after the play - and take care of them.

Tips for bondage play

If you are new to bondage, the following tips can help you avoid beginner mistakes in tying your partner.

  • Hand and ankle restraints or bondage tapes are perfect for newbies. There is no need to make it too complicated - these tools can help you win the bondage technique and offer more than enough satisfaction.
  • Make a room warm and cozy for fun. You will be naked, and bonding with rope can take some time, so being cold can turn you off (if, of course, this is not part of the play).
  • Before starting with bondage play, prepare the place and tools you need. Don't tie your partner and leave them waiting while you run around the house.
  • Put lube and sex toys near you. Lube is your secret assistant that improves everything, and toys will help you tease your partner. So, keep them close so you can just grab-and-go. 

How to tie up your partner?

Lovers can use many different ways and things for bondage: handcuffs, restraints, rope, bondage tape, zip tie, scarf, tie, belt, complex body restraints, bondage harness, and so much more. 

Bed restraining

One of the most known bondage methods includes tying your partner to the headboard with handcuffs or hand restraints. You can also secure their ankles and blindfold them.

Don't leave your bonded partner alone

Check your tied lover and make sure they feel good. Don't leave the room and stay close in case if they will need you.

Keep scissors nearby

Always be ready for emergency destruction with a pair of scissors that will help you cut the bondage tools.

Be aware of no-rope zones

You can't use ropes on certain spots of the human body (armpits, inside the elbow, throat, and others). Make sure you know the critical areas where you should never tie a person.

Rope binding

Playing with a rope is exciting but also requires some knowledge. Research the play, and learn how to make a single column knot for bondage.  Before you start, make sure that you know the no-rope zones and carefully tie your partner.

Bondage role-playing

Want to explore some tied scenarios or even rape fantasy? Pretend you are a burglar and surprise your partner. Restrain them with your belt or use a zip tape and force them to beg for their life.

Soft and sensual tying

Scarves and ties are the perfect equipment for quick bondage if you don't have other tools and want to play more sensually. Grab a tie or scarf and caress and tease your partner with a soft fabric. Then you can lead them to the chair, tie their ankle, and restrain their hands behind their back.

Make your partner bend over 

This is a simple and beginner-friendly bonding technique. Use a spreader bar and tie your partner's wrist to their ankles while they are standing. You can also use bondage tape or rope and bring your paddle to spank your submissive partner.

Tied up sex positions

There are so many tied-up sex positions and ways to engage in bondage play that you will want to include rope, tape, or handcuffs in any sexual activity. Check our ideas and bondage positions for beginners who explore the B of BDSM for the first time.

Beginner hogtie

This hot position will almost entirely immobilize your lover, and you can help yourself with a spreader bar or hogtie restraints. Order your partner to lie on their belly and place their hands behind their back. Spread their legs and use cuffs around their ankles, then attach a bar or hogtie restraints. Put cuffs on their wrists and connect them to a spreader bar or hogtie restraints. Be careful and gentle, and make your partner feel comfortable and ready for action.

Bathtub riding

Prepare a bubble bath and invite your partner to a slippery party. Bind their hands over their head or tie them to the showerhead with a rope. Then turn away from them and sit down in reverse cowgirl style position. Your restrained partner has to resist the temptation to grab your ass that splatters water everywhere.

Homemade spanking bench

Tell your partner it is time for spanking and grab a chair. They should kneel on the floor and rest on the chair. Tie their arms and legs to the nearest chair leg. Help yourself with a bondage tape or rope, and include a blindfold to increase your partner’s arousal. Then bring your favorite flogger, paddle, or whip and show them who the boss is.

Butterfly

Place your partner on the sofa, and lean them over a pillow so that their naked ass is exposed. You can bind their hands behind their back, or tie each hand behind their back to each ankle on the same side. Be sure to hold your lover safely while thrusting them anally or vaginally. You can also do this on a chair or table, but always secure your partner's body.

Want to discover more tied-up kinky sex positions? Do you want to wrap your partner like a spring roll? 

Our Kinky Sex Ideas eBook includes over 180 naughty scenarios with spicy illustrations that will make you want to try them out immediately!

You can buy it here or get it for free/as a present if you spend over $99 in The Sex Shed.

What to do with your tied-up partner? 

What you can’t do with a tied-up partner should be a question as there are so many possibilities for play and pleasure. Take your time and explore the world of bondage:

Teasing, edging, and orgasm denial

Tease your restrained partner and stimulate them on your own or with the help of sex toys. Build tension and make them plead for an orgasm. If you stop there and leave them without a climax until the next session, you provoke them with a play named orgasm denial. You can also torture them with edging, where you excite your partner to orgasm but stop just before they come. Repeat this several times before allowing them to orgasm, making their climax more intense and rewarding. 

Sensory deprivation

Blindfold your tied-up partner and put earplugs or headphones on them. You have just taken away their two senses - hearing and sight - which will excite their other senses and make them more sensitive. Sensory deprivation is part of the sensual game, and you can bring some food to the party to increase tension and spoil your partner’s taste buds. Bring chocolate, fruit, and whipped cream and feed your helpless partner.   

Touching

Once your partner is restrained, explore their body with your touches. You can start by gently caressing their non-intimate body parts or massaging them. You can combine a rough and a sweet world - shift from light touches to biting, back to gentle caressing, and again to pinching or slapping. Remember that you should address these harsh techniques first. Don’t slap or bite your partner if you haven’t gotten their consent, and don’t assume they agree to actions you haven’t discussed before. Consent is everything!

Oral sex

Bind your partner and don’t go to their genitals right away, but increase their tension and arousal. Touch them and stimulate their body with your tongue, move to the inner thighs and belly, leaving the main course for later. Your limited lover can also give you the best oral job. Again, start slowly, and don’t push them in the face fuck in one second. Be in control, move your sweet spots closer to their face and tell them what to do. Then continue to the point where you ride or fuck their face.

Dirty talk

Tie your partner and tell them how hot they are. Be vulgar and dirty, circle around them, and whisper in their ears. Tease their nipples, bite their neck, or shove fingers in their mouth, but do it quickly and then step back and continue talking dirty. Seduce them with your words and quick touches and stimulate them until they can no longer listen.

If you need more kinky inspiration for an unforgettable bondage experience, you can get the best Bondage Tape Guide here. Check out our ideas with hot illustrations that will instantly encourage you to buy rope, tape, and handcuffs. Bondage is a beautiful BDSM practice that can be explored with countless tools and naughty scenarios.