My lover pushes me back onto the bed, his cock stirring with excitement. I’m excited too, and my pussy aches with anticipation as I await his next command.
We’re playing out a power exchange roleplay, and my guy is firmly at the helm.
As he toys with me, I feel the sexual tension building. Sexual submission is something I relish, and I get hugely turned on by following my partner’s lead.
If you’re new to exploring power dynamics, I recommend you give it a try.
To make it work, you’ll need to trust and respect one another, and you’ll need to let go and give control to your lover.
Here’s how to be submissive in bed…
Communicate desires and boundaries
Your first stop is to have an open discussion with your partner. This isn’t always easy, but if you can’t talk about your fantasies with your lover, you’ll never be able to realize them.
Bring up the topic of sexual play and let your partner know that you’re interested in sexual submission. You can talk about the aspects of submission that excite you and discuss what you’re both comfortable doing.
Read: Communication
Consent should always be sought for any sexual or kink play before you start any scene, and you’ll need to establish clear boundaries. Talk about limits and identify safe words/signals to ensure mutual comfort, trust, and respect.
Read: How to make consent sexy, according to erotica authors
As a general rule, submissives use a traffic light safety system – where saying green indicates everything is fine, yellow means please slow things down as I’m reaching my limit, and red means STOP.
Read: BDSM safe word ideas and systems
Focus on giving control
It can be difficult to give up control, but handing the power to your lover allows you to free your mind and body.
As a submissive in a long-term D/s dynamic, I understand the vulnerability involved in taking a submissive stance.
Read: D/s Relationship: Beginners Guide And Infographic
You will need to practice letting go and following your partner’s lead without resistance, but if you can manage this, you’ll be rewarded with abundant pleasure.
My Dominant lover makes the decisions on pace, position, and action. He guides the play by using physical force and verbal commands.
I like to be manhandled and have my hair pulled, forcing my head back and allowing him to push his stiff cock into my mouth.
I enjoy having my wrists and ankles secured to the bed by leather cuffs, and I adore it when my guy tells me he’s going to fuck me until I scream.
Read: How to use sex restraints: list, how-to, scenarios
Respond to commands and requests
I like to tell and show my Dom how eager I am to please. When he issues verbal and non-verbal commands, I am ready and waiting to do his bidding.
My guy likes receiving feedback, and I can provide this by being responsive. I can say “Thank you, Sir,” “Yes, please,” and “Whatever you want.”
I can also moan with pleasure when I’m instructed to carry out an act or get into a position.
Words of affirmation demonstrate my willingness to conform and also let my partner know how excited I am to submit to him.
This flatters his ego and boosts his confidence, so I can enjoy more of the same from him!
Read: Getting Started with Praise Kinks + 22 Examples of What to Say
Use body language to signal submission
You can use actions as well as words to convey submission. My Dominant loves to know he’s giving me pleasure, and I can let him know by responding to his touch.
I usually set the tone by kneeling to let my Sir know I am ready to be his and willing to serve. This helps my mindset too, as I feel prepared for giving control to my Dom.
I also use eye contact to add intimacy and intensity to our games. Looking down indicates I am offering my submission, whilst making direct eye contact implies I want more.
I apparently have a sexy glint and give him a cheeky glare if I’m feeling brave!
I find looking up from a kneeling position also effective, especially if I’m delivering a blow job at the time.
Allow restraints or sensory deprivation
One of my favorite acts of submission is to allow my Dominant to secure my limbs and restrain me using rope.
I like to feel the rope binding my wrists and arms and enjoy the sensation of helplessness that automatically follows.
Whilst rope is my go-to for restraint, there are plenty of other options, including metal handcuffs, cable ties, silk ties, and leather cuffs.
Make sure you have safety shears or a means to release the sub quickly if the need arises.
You can also use blindfolds, hoods, earphones, and hand mitts to heighten the experience and enhance pleasure.
Not being able to see, hear, or touch can heighten other senses and leave you with a delicious feeling of vulnerability.
Sensory deprivation is a great way to enhance submission, but the Dom should always check in with the sub. It’s important to ensure the sub is safe and comfortable, as this type of play can be intense.
Allow sensory play
There are plenty of ways to bring sensory elements to submission. The Dominant partner can lightly tickle or spank the submissive.
They can also use tools such as a pinwheel, claw, feather, or silk tie to tease and torment.
Read: How to use a feather tickler
Temperature play can be effective too, and using ice or heated wax (make sure you use specialist BDSM candles) can prove stimulating and arousing.
Read: How to explore temperature play? Tips and ideas to try
Practice tease and anticipation
My lover and I regularly engage in tease and denial as a form of power exchange. By touching and caressing my naked body, my Dominant can build sexual suspense and anticipation.
It’s hard to remain patient, but the slow build and release are worth it. It’s hard not to beg for more or beg to cum when I feel his hands on me, but when he does allow me to climax, my orgasm is usually a very memorable one.
Engage in role-play scenarios
You can have plenty of fun with power exchange by engaging in Dominant/submissive role-play scenarios. Common scenes involve Teacher/student, Employer/employee, Boss/secretary, Doctor/patient, Master/servant, Handler/pet, and Police Officer/convict.
Dress for the part and use props to make the scene feel more authentic.
Make sure you’re playing in a safe and private environment and always discuss scenarios in advance to ensure consent is provided and everyone is happy with the play.
Read: 37 Erotic Roleplay Scenarios To Try (Because Why Not Fuck a Knight)
Aftercare is essential
Intense play can leave both a Dominant and a submissive feeling emotional and physically spent. It’s important to engage in aftercare, so make sure you have an aftercare kit to hand.
This should contain a blanket, drinks, snacks, and anything else you think you may need.
Look after one another and take your time to bounce back to reality.
Read: Dom Drop: How to Care for a Dom Who is Suffering From Dom Drop
Sexual submission for your dynamic
If you’re thinking of delving into the world of sexual submission, make sure your dynamic is robust.
Trust, communication, and mutual respect are essential, and you won’t be able to successfully engage in sexual submission without those elements.
You might need to try a few techniques for size to discover a good fit for you, but exploration is half the fun!